“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son. That whoever believes in him will not perish, but have everlasting life.”
John 3:16
I grabbed the bread and tore off a piece. The crust was tough and it required me to pull hard, but the soft interior crushed under the pressure. My fingers reached to grab the next piece and something peculiar began to happen. Internally, I began to tremble. I nearly lost my composure, but my sobs remained on the inside.
Two Sundays ago, Stephanie and I were asked to step in to help serve the Lord’s Supper. In our congregation we rotate through different ways of observing this practice. This particular morning we were receiving a piece of torn bread and dipping it in a cup of juice. The image being that of the torn body of Jesus covered in his spilled blood.
As I tore those first pieces I scarcely noticed the faces of those who I handed the bread. Each time my fingers pinched and tore I felt the pain and a heavy weight press in on me. The brokenness of the bread was my brokenness. All of my hurt, loneliness, sorrow, failures, and anxiety. Yet now it wasn’t mine it was Jesus’ and I trembled. As I continued to tear and share bread my heart’s gaze came to a much darker port. As I tore at the flesh of the bread, I became acutely aware it was my sin that tore at Jesus’ flesh. Waves of reflection on my sin overcame me with each piece I tore from the loaf feeling as if I needed to say “I’m sorry”, but knowing that would belittle the sacrifice.
Then I was prompted to look up. Over and over I caught the gaze of the next person, felt the flesh of the bread rip, and extended to them a jagged broken piece. I am still not sure how to put into words what I felt. The sorrow of my sin gave way to an overwhelming sense of love. I felt pure delight. Not in the tearing, but in the giving. I felt the pain of each offering of bread. I felt the weight of the brokenness, sin, and loss of relationship in each tear. I felt an exhilarating joy looking into each face knowing this was a restored new creation. For just a moment it felt as if I was an observer for these were not my emotions. The love I experienced nearly brought me to tears instead I trembled.
May we never forget this overwhelming loved extended to each of us every day. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son! You and I are loved more than we can dream up in our wildest imaginations.